then i began looking for you

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was”  -  Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī

Then I began to find you
in the smile of a child
a kind word from a stranger
the sun upon my face
the midnight moon
and her starry companions.

The scent of garden bowers
caused you to be present
and all my senses became acute
upon arrival of spring rain
and summer heat.

I saw you in the flight
of majestic birds
and the death of loved ones.

You showed your face to me
in a mirror of my own
and that of a blind man with cane
wandering aimlessly down the road.

I then recognized my own blindness
and rubbed my weary eyes
fell to the dust of this Earth
and realized
that I, too, am blind
with less sight than the man
not so aimlessly wandering.

And that is when I began searching for you
in the smile of a small child.

© Susan Marie 2010

(Thanks Ali)

Man Kunto Maula

We are all searching, all going someplace, all returning

as seasons reverberate
the roar of silent tears
deep within the steady rumbling
of empty bellies

such contrast
as sun to moon

the clash of delicate china
upon grand mahogany altars
oh, how they dance
with silver stemmed crystal goblets

such silence is unheard of here
in this grand ballet
as that of the silent tears
from bellies that cry without

it is a different kind of silence
held deep within the thorax
behind the sternum
hidden

yet the seasons show no mercy
upon roaring silent tears
for they are seen
without copper covered lids

the same solitary sight
that recognizes

we are all searching, all going someplace, all returning.

© Susan Marie 2010

*"Man Kunto Maula", a part of a famous statement of the Seal of Prophet, upon him be holy benedictions, which is, "Man kunto maula, fa Ali-un Maula" - meaning 'Whoever accepts me as master, Ali is his master too'. Imam Ali is known to be a great gnostic who have perfected his realization. One of his gnostic utterances include, "I have seen my Lord with the eyes of my heart."

such perfect death

the tulip raised
her bloodied lilting head
to rest in the outstretched palm
of the hero, now fallen as martyr
lying wasted
in fields of sweet grass

armor as warrior
     heart of lover

and she, eye of God, heavens palette
a solitary tulip
closed her own eyes in solace

peaceful as the slain lover
masked as warrior

and wept for them both
as her lover wept in suffering
for his beloved

both to sleep
an eternal rest
of princes and kings
not as two
but a most perfect union
below skies of cerulean

and with last breath
her diaphragm ceased
her head, comforted in the crook
of the fleshy part
of the palm of her lover

she spent her last moment
on Earth
smiling

in peace

such perfect death.

© Susan Marie December 16, 2010

For a warrior whom is a lover and Muharram and Karbala.

Nobel

To think
they put

--Papa--

in the shocks

elec-
tro
socks

flat
line
punch

meeting
gloves


* For Ernest Hemingway

Ka'bah

1000 years
before Da Vinci danced
with angels and demons

bedouins recited poetry
respite from tribal war
tossed swords to water
                                       wind
                                                  fire
                                                           night
to Mecca
a child born

mother
               father
                          spirits
                                       flew
O' Khadijah,
brilliant and bold
beside Al-Amin
an angel paying dues
by firelight and sand

breathing life
into thought of one G-D

not
       stature
                    incense
but
        one
                 people

solidarity

O' poor now protected
one hand of Muhammad held
his other clutching onyx of Abraham

Qu'ran
rising deep within his throat

cosmic
             intimate
                            force

The Tree of Life
turning full term

a mystery redefined
through mouths of poets
shifting image
to beauty

Father of Reincarnation
the people did not believe

You, a threat to fabric tightly woven
assassins at your side

no retribution

until the battles began . . .



© Susan Marie

sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .

stood on the brink
whispered once
and it echoed
a thousandfold
from the depths
of my

mother
fuckin'
lungs

pushing forth
so many lives
lived
lost

to be

yet i know
it was a diaphragmatic release
and all that left my lips
were mere words
falling to their deaths
settling upon salt lambs
grazing upon emerald marsh

and i
on the brink
in repose

screeeeeeeeching:

Why do you have to be so G-D - damned lovely!

i then turned my head
once

and spit
blood


© Susan Marie

aerials

a celestial war raged
as stars barricaded themselves
in symmetrical militant procession
opposing the purpling morningtide

the sky spit forth the clouds
and with it, the moon
leaving itself barren, desolate

my eyes, now wet with brine
held and caught your glare
illuminating this now velvet backdrop

yet no solace was evident
in the firmament this morn'
but two sharks teeth, your eyes
void and emotionless

and i stood apprehensive
in complete darkness
as your hand reached down
from behind the trembling stars

with skeletal grip
impeding breath
you held my thorax
until my throat burst
thunder and lightning

and i vomited thrushes
hidden deep within my belly

simultaneous, they took flight
your spirit, juxtaposed

a disconsolate sketch

of atriums and ventricles

ascending
Heaven.

© Susan Marie 2008

Sun Valley

cirrus rose 

wide eyed as a child
i stood
wanting to reach my hand 
dive into its fleece
melt within the embrace
of this

Hemingway saw these things

scratching bloodink
on his Royal Deluxe
he must have fought
sublimation

to capture

still life photos
of the dead walking

alive

swallowing them whole
spitting them
onto clean white sheets of linen
later to be pressed
and lain

volumes of beauty
side by side

as soldiers marching

an Army of misery

© Susan Marie 2005

day (senyru)

The morning light bathes
breath of life upon your face.
My heart skips a beat.  


© Susan Marie 2004

One Voice

a generation

NOW

the same air and earth
one corner of the globe
to another

its a shame that we pray
for those massacred in mosques
near oil pipelines in Iraq

where acres are stolen
barley
barely
growing

children do not need to go to heaven yet

circles intersect
like pipedreams

it seems so simple
like wishes blown
off of childrens lips
rising as a dandelion crown
spirits vanish
into thin air

gardens
of
afterlife

evicted
confiscated


death
is human
by origin

brothers and sisters
we are storming graveyards
each stone lain
across this great divide

OUR human family

and i twist my hair
in the direction
of the earths rotation
spinning off its axis

OUR ancestors whisper
as fireflames rise to the sky
a nomadic war cry 
volcanic
thunderous

a belting tsunami
rising, rising
like blood boiled
over
and
over
and
over

and when will we realize

that WE

are all

ONE.


© Susan Marie, Nooruddin Jalal, Obaidullah Baheer, Rose Salley, Sohaib Rahman, Michele Rose 2010

shine

i hold the weight of my world

in my palm

my forehead

the one you placed three fingers upon today

i know you are afraid

it's okay

i understand

you tell me you have been scarred 

i nod and smile,

for you have not seen my bandages

reams and rolls lie

in the corners of my thought

i sweep them away like dust

right into the trash

i heal quickly

when you held me

i could feel your heart

beat

as that of a baby bird

i went to move away

you did not let go

raising one hand

as i spoke 

you swept away 

a solitary dangling lock

from my face

and i knew

you need not speak

you said that i were beautiful

and that women like me were rare

and i believe you

i know you

and you realize this

and you see me

as a child

basking in my guile nature

we are of the same raiment

maybe one day

you will open wide

as a morning glory sunrise

and allow me

to exorcise

the woman

that left welts

upon your shine

© Susan Marie 2008

monochrome

i view the world

as a sun rise high

i am high on life and i

see the world

blazing, raising

arms mid air

branches sprouting leaves

and me

fleeing the need

to see

in black and white

i must say

as of late

my sight has been keen

and man, it brings me to my knees

for i see people

with color

race

creed

they shine shine oh how they shine

in my eyes

until i am made to see

in black and white

a motion picture freeze frame

of time time all the time i see

pure esoteric beauty souls spirits bonds

not crayons labeled

palettes cradled

in artist's arms

i copper cover my own lids

and open my third eye

blind

was blind

i view the world

as a sun rise high

© Susan Marie 2007 

The Picnic

Jesus and Jack K.

took Martin by the hand

led him to cool water

on the day of his rebirth in Memphis.

The Baptist was present and they swam

muddied, naked, barefoot

clay clinging to lines

stretched on footpads

between blood red veins

coursing from the Euphrates to the Potomac.

They found Malcolm by the shore.

His sienna skied chin tipped upward.

He held one finger and pointed

onward

towards smoke signals.

The Cherokee were calling

yet another tired warrior home.

Lennon sang

while Lady Di gathered daisies

beneath the Joshua Tree.  

© Susan Marie 2009 

I Am Spirit

I am universe
spirit
a thoroughbred on fire

Vesuvius exploding
millenniums
of age old stories
told by firelight

dancing flames of mouths of ancestors
ring in my
external auditory meatus
creating intense magnetic fields
between both palms
placed upon ears

a circuit to free my thinking brain
from onslaught of data, technology, information,
fear, love, death, hate and all that exists
in divine ugliness and beauty

this universe encompasses
all that is, was, that will be
and I, human, here and now
am spirit

I am spirit, I say
and stand and scream
opening my lungs to this most holy sky
and it blazed like photogenic supernovas
across my inner eyelids
closed, sleeping, awake
my still small hands shake
beneath starry skies in eve

For I am spirit
in this shell
on this Earth,
existing in a Universe

as human. 


© Susan Marie 2010 

birth

"In this world, there are those who understand, even if they wish not to, who speak, when they wish to remain silent, those that listen, when they wish to scream, those that love, when they wish to turn their backs, those that hold your hand, and understand, that you . . . are still . . . being born." - Susan Marie

The Alchemist

Dear Magestic Panacea,

White Stone of the River
has embedded itself
within my quicksilver cardio plexus
plutonium solar sunrise

the Ansata cross
has branded my sternum

a stigmata of immortality

Sancti Spiritus,
bathe my body
in aqua vitae

the stone that burns with mercury,
chloride and arsenic

transmutates
cinnabar

male to female
life to death
art to alloy
perfume to dye
embalming of the dead


lead
        to
            gold


the base of self
is Buddha
a handmaiden to chemistry
dreams and fantasy
as Jung discovered
symbols replaced text
to collect

streams of (un)conciousness

the metal of Heaven
birthed five birds
to scribe
scriptures of life

do or die
die to live
cry the beak to bone
condone
rebirth
from wing to light

the ravens plight

the blackening begins
innerspace to spin
the swan
to sweet etheric flight

sailing sailing
the surface of the soul
just to be surprised
a peacocks cry
colors swirled
fanned to shift

opening self
to experience

the pelicans stab
own beak to chest
bloodlet to feed
embryonic creed

to ignite
a phoenix rise
spir-it alive
flawless and free
spanning heavens highest trees

simultaneous birth and death

rising rising from ashes
to rest
and renew the dead


lead
         to
              gold



© Susan Marie

stradavarius

sterling manipulation
four, seven, eight, twelve

strings

the luthier extends
harmonics on high
attenuated aside
fervid throes of empty deaths
final breaths

swan songs of the bordello

Antonio braced
wooden strips
to curve of hips

bracing acoustic kiss

an aria
'neath finger tips

spill me to sleep
euphonic Spanish Prince

plant thy lips
abreast my nape
finger each arc and bow

melodious

drape me in rosewood
maple and ebony

a cloak of resonance

eclipse your silent screams
beneath each vibrato
until i am taut
within your grip

culmination restricted

an Electric Lady's
lament
concordant

a celestial indulgence

as that of evanescence


© Susan Marie 

cirrus

Gods own finger
pointed westward
towards a silent city still life
where cirrus shields
of angelic gray matter
encapsulated
all of the wonders of creation
deep within their bosoms

it spread for miles
only seen by those of "knowing"
yet i saw the great golden thrush
of Gabriel and Michael
glinting swords of spirit sight
silver gilt tipped wings
age old wisdom

an orchestral psalm
alive
in my sky
your sky

my eyes bore witness
as if this were a dream
a paradigm
a mirror of my soul in sky
flat lined

for hours i gazed

Allah, so wondrous
your fiery belly is alight
with volcanic thrushes
so freely you give to me your heart
in palms of immense majestic acrylics

my sternum pulls forward
towards you, magnetic
as my head rests on two palms

before me
woman
man
universe

the great unknown
that i know
my sunset
here

your eyes

intoxicate.


© Susan Marie 2010

Issa

Among five bodies, translucent,
Issa took respite from Israel.
Crouching by rivers,
learning teachings, the great Buddha.

White priests present the caste
raising Vedas, simultaneous,
as Issa tilts his weary tuliped crown
in confusion.

"World-Soul, Manu, Creator,
is there no correlation between this
and everyman?"

"The beauty of life exists not in law and priests,
but in a teardrop, the iris of an eye.
From the first day and each second,
no idol nor beast shall be uplifted."

The Sun has no power of its own.

"The Wailing Wall resides beneath my sternum
alongside breath of beasts that attempt to feast my bones."

Through tongues and time passed,
words are as sand, a hand wiping slates clean.
Words through translation.

"Raise your chin to the skies, friend.
It is there your spirit lies, not beneath your feet, bare.

Your path is for you to discern,
I am but a tool.

You do not need to see my speech as truth.
Yet I have chosen to view you,
clear and lit, in pale moonlight.

Pure."


© Susan Marie

how do i explain

how do i explain
the sunset
when she drapes herself elegant
climbing through tree limbs
still green with summer
dappling brick buildings
causing brown to change to burnt sienna

how do i explain
a solitary leaf
each vein sprawling
as arteries and veins
spreading life
throughout one being

how do i explain
the rushing wind
as she kisses my cheeks
gracing my face
as the touch of an angel
on a summer's eve

how do i explain watching you
atop a mountain range
your stoic jawline
staring into infinity
your brown eyes
searching
in craggy embankments
trees, grass and dirt

how do i explain my love for you
this universe we share
this world
one and many
from past and beyond
present and future

it is how one would explain a science
of chemistry and emotion
all six senses alive and acute
stirring and spinning
as Autumn leaves unberthed from their rest

it is as difficult to explain my love for you
as simple as it is to love you
for it is all of man and woman, simultaneous

my love, your eyes
they recognize my own
as dirt knows grass
and water knows rock

your limbs are my legs
my tresses your leaves
your gaze my sunshine
my body, your breath

i do not need to explain
for you understand
but i can compare
all of nature and her beauty


within
inside
beneath
behind
above
inside

no matter where you may be

i am with you


©  Susan Marie 2010