ignorant american

maybe i am an ignorant american
sick with fever
undiagnosed by modern medicine

one that fills my organs
so that it rains for weeks
and clouds elbow sun
from horizons

maybe i am an ignorant american
blind to beauty in ugliness
and ugliness in beauty
yet all of it mingles
like oil and water
convoluted

this world is madness and i am sane

for children with hungry mouths
have fat bellies
and women survive
with no means of surviving
while men fight wars
they do not believe in

my tuliped crown is weary
and i have yet to battle
for my throat has already tightened
swallowing the world whole
causing me to choke
on my own insight

maybe i am an ignorant american
yet i am unable to deny the universe
as it pulls my sternum forward
magnetic
directing me to stand
                                   speak
                                               change

do something other than
                                        stay
                                                 silent

and my mind

cannot fathom dramatics

there is no room for apathy nor treason

yet this world is chaotic

and i
this ignorant american
am set loose on blind chase
for strings upon strings
of chains and weights
shackled to wrists and necks
where spirits float
to endless realms
smiling, once smiling
now they smile

gone

they are free and i
this ignorant american
am left to assemble arms, legs and various leftovers
of existence

i hold a ball of yarn
no beginning, no end
not even a middle
no explanation, nor solution
nor quotient

it is tight to my chest
safe from onslaught
for it is mine to bear

this ball of yarn
with no beginning nor end
an ignorant american
i am

but my heart

is good


© Susan Marie 2009